Call Me Anything

What’s in a Name?

When we got married, my husband never insisted I take his name. Instead, we decided that he would take mine. Totally awesome, right?!

So, feminism aside, I had become acutely aware of and intensely curious about the power of What We Are Called. And, what happens to our psyche when we are suddenly Called something else? Why do some people change their names (married or not, first or last) and some people don’t?

And those people who change their names to reflect a deeper connection to their spirituality, or because their husband’s family expects it, or because he really is a feminist – What happens to their sense of Self?

Meanwhile, some people had an obvious tendency to become what their name was, to fulfill some kind of synchronistic destiny. Their denotation fits these people exactly. For example, my aunt Karen is the nicest person in the world and Dick really is. Some other people have such bold names, they can’t be ignored: You’ve heard of Dr. Myopia or Dr. Ball? They’re both ophthalmologists.

Synchronistic Destiny

Take a look at these names and their people:

Meteorologists Amy Freeze and Sarah Blizzard.

Ken Hurt, an unfortunate name for a dentist.

Bob Walk, the MLB Pitcher

Robin Mafood, CEO of the non-profit Food for the Poor

Apparently, it’s a thing:

Thanks for this Wikipedia — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aptronym

Aptronym, aptonym or euonym are rarely-encountered neologisms for the concept of nominative determinism, used for a personal name aptly or peculiarly suited to its owner; essentially, when someone’s name describes what they are or what they do.^[1]

Although humorous (and not nearly as rare as wiki would have you believe), it wasn’t exactly what I was looking for. I wanted to know about the connotation of their names, to go deeper into their personalities. I wanted to know if their names – our names – affect our life experiences. Are we innately born with these characteristics, or are we called into them? Does our self-confidence rise – or fall – every time we’re Called aloud? In other words, “What’s up, Dick!” is a very different experience than “What’s up, Rich!”

Back to me. This wasn’t a fleeting interest; This obsession was purely and deeply personal.

My first name is Liv. Yes, it’s on my birth certificate. No, it’s not short for anything. It’s in fact “an old-fashioned, traditional Norwegian name” and in the Motherland, it’s sung with a long vowel, “Lee-Eve”.

But we’re not anywhere near Scandanavia.

In the US, it’s pronounced “leave.” Like Go Away.

Meeting new people would inevitably go like this:

“Hi, my name is leave.”

“Leaf?” or “Eve?” or “Lee?”

“No, leave L. I. V. Like go away?” At 32, I started saying, “Like I believe in you!” Thank God I finally figured that one out.

Or, if they read my name first:

“You’re Live.” Like short for Olivia.

“No, I pronounce it leave.”

“Huh. But it’s spelled like live.”

“Traditional… Scandinavia… long e… the English short e… birth certificate… blah blah blah.”

Shall we assess the myriad layers of unintended short and long-term consequences of this conversation? I’d rather not, as I’ve been living them my whole life. (I felt unwanted, pushed away, fighting to be heard, exhausted, depressed, fleeting, clawing to be seen, constantly disrespectable… blah blah blah.) I feel like a dope that it took me so long to GET IT.

I have since officially changed my pronunciation. Nowadays, it actually is like Live, short for Olivia. Like Live and Let Live. Live the Life. To Live Would be an Awfully Big Adventure.

And. It’s. Changed. Everything.

The Ball is Rolling

This was the change I had been waiting for. Since changing the pronunciation of my name, just two and half years ago, my personal awareness and growth has expanded exponentially. Making the conscientious decision to change my name has declared (to the Universe!) that every other decision I make must also be more conscientious.

Now, I can set clearer boundaries in all areas of my life. I am easily in charge of my time. I can regulate my emotional energetics, now living what is Essential, instead of choosing from frantic.  I have stood for respect and defended perfect strangers. I can speak my Truth from a place of Love instead of defense. I am more connected to my own personal wants and needs, and am responsible for their Success. I have seen which areas of my life needed transformation, and from an easy, honoring Soul, I simply Transform them. Now, I am worth it.

My present and future are wide open, and there’s a place for Me in it.

New Conversations

Meeting people is so much easier now, as I don’t correct them. Actually, I don’t spend a single syllable telling people they are wrong about me. I’ve stopped fighting, pushing, waiting. They didn’t need to Get It all these years. I did.

Telling old friends was a snap, as most struggled with it from the beginning anyway! “That name never really fit you.” “Oh, that’s much better.” “Yeah, I had wondered what that had been doing to your psychology.” Thanks for being patient, my friends.

But this is my personal favorite, and it’s a complete surprise: When someone Calls me “Live” I am deeply acknowledged in my Wholeness. I am suddenly Present. I am Here. My heart opens. I am Connected and Alive like never before – not even when the Old Name of leave was pronounced “correctly.” There is something more profound about being seen for what I have chosen. And that choice is to Live.

So, what would you like to be Called?