Dear Adderall,
I love you.
And I know you love me, too.
We started out as acquaintances a few years ago. Your friend Ritalin introduced us, do you remember that? He was our gateway. You knew that he and I had dated a few times, but we just didn’t feel right. And you know about my blind date with Vivalan, and that crazy teenage bad-boy fling with Crystal Meth… But now that we’re together, my life is complete.
It’s the things you do to me – and for me – that prove your love and devotion:
- You cross out my never-ending To-Do List.
- You separate the plastic recycling by number.
- You make dinner, from scratch, with only gluten-free, organic ingredients.
- You’ve made QuickBooks fun!
- You pull weeds, water and sweep – all before dawn.
It took us a little while to find our rhythm, our perfect dosage, but we were patient with each other and our reward is this tango, an intimate, holding-you-close, passionate, syncopated twirl covered in sequins and spandex under a disco ball light show.
But please know, it’s not just the tasks you help me complete:
- You make me a more present mom.
- You get me out of the house for morning walks.
- You’ve re-engaged my creativity.
- You pull me out of my thoughts and ideas, and into action, completion, proof.
- You quell my depression so that I can realize What Works.
- You heighten my awareness of What’s Important.
- You move me forward on my Path to Enlightenment.
Sure I’m a little dehydrated, but I just drink more water.
Adderall, thank you for being here with me.
Of course some of my friends and family want to pull us apart, but even the most famous romances had their doubters: Bonnie & Clyde. Romeo & Juliet. Martha & George. My darling, my small, blue Adderall: I know that this romance may not last forever, but you sure as hell are perfect for right now.